FEBRUARY!!!

WOW.. So it is already February.. It's been awhile since I have been on here.. So lets do a lil refresher =).. Well the past month has been very eventful=). Trevor and I decided that we want to work things out =).. We have been seperated for about a year now and dated other people and it was good to be apart I think.. It made me realize how much I really loved him and wanted to be with him.. He says DIDO =).. People are quite shocked about it but we are happy and that is all that matters.. We have been through so much as it is and nothin is goin to get in our way with what we want..Trevor is thinkin bout doin a treatment deak to help him get some clean time out in the real world it blocks all opiates from entering your system so If hemay try to get high he wont be able to feel it.. I told him to go for its worth a shot=). I'm so proud of him he never gives up on himself. He has been through so much and is the strongest persons I know. Dealin with an addiction is extremely hard especially the addiction he has and I just love how he always picks up his feet when he falls and keeps trying.. People think I'm nuts for wanting to be with him but when you love someone and know they can do something. You going to do whatever it takes and be by there side =) So thats the 411 on my life with Trev. As for me we all know its TAX time and holly crap I'm so happy with what i'm getting back!!! I'm going to buy me a new car, give my mom some money for all she has done for me and take Trev's parents to dinner!! I love them for all the help they do.. As for Landon he is doing GREAT.. He learns something new everyday!! He has the cutest personality ever !! He loves to have attention thats for sure!!! He also loves his kitter Millie he plays with her and gives her tons of loves!!! I hope everyone is doing well and I will try to keep up with this.. I'm sure i'm missing some details and what not but so much has happened!!! Hope everyone has a FUN VALENTINES!!!!!

NeW YeArS!!!!

SO... NEW YEARS is right around the corner & I'm so ready for it... Ready for a new start and a new me... This past year has been very eventful and interesting and hopefully 2009 has alot more better things to come and offer me.. I'm goin to my buddy Kelsi's for a New Years and its going to be a blast.. WE are going to be all dressed up and gorgeous as always!!! I can't wait.. I wont be having a New Years kiss which its all good.. Me and Dasha will have to do our ritual and write our wish on a piece of paper and light it on fire and throw it in champangne and drink the ashes... Weird I know but its fun to do... Love you Dash.. Landon's birthday is on the 3rd and holy crap he is going to be one years old. The time has flown by with my lil guy before I know it he will be 18. ha ha It's crazy how fast kids grow.. Well I hope every one has a Happy New Years and drink RESPONSIBLY!!!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

HaPpY HoLiDaYs!!!!

So Christmas is in a couple of days and I'm so excited to see Landon's face when he see's all the toys he got from Santa. He will prob like all the boxes and wrappin paper more then all his toys =).I sure did spoil him this Christmas.I'm hoping that Christmas goes well, its going to be a super busy day for all of us hope my lil guy will be able to handle all the presents and all the family he is going to be seeing. I'm pretty sure he will be wore out by the end of that day.. Trev is out and has seen Landon a couple times I'm so happy he will be here for his son's first Christmas. He already has missed so much so it will be good for him to get to be here for Landon. It has been kinda crazy and nerve racking since he has been out but, I think I have been doing pretty well. I seriously thought I would need to go into the nut house for sure.. It does hurt knowing he is spending most of his time with another girl and not with his son. But it is what it is I guess..Things have been quite crazy though.. Old feelings have come back and its not very fun for me trust me. It sucks and hurts.. Me and Trev have been pretty civil and have been talking quite a bit about alot of things and issues that have been going on.. Somethings were said that I kinda wish never were cause it confuses me so bad and gets me so excited and wanting to hear more and wanting it to happen now.. I'm trying my hardest to keep busy and try not to keep my hopes up so.. We will have to see what happens. Christmas will be good but I'm not gonna lie it would be much better having it with my Family I always wanted.. You can't always get what you want.Just got to make the best of things. Tryin to keep my head up as much as I can.. But I hope everyone will have a wonderful Christmas...

xoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxo

All SETTLED in!!!!!!

SO... We moved this weekend and boy that was an adventure!!! It was icky weather and to even make it better I officially know I live in the ghetto LOL... There was this blood all over the stair way to my apartment!!! My dad and borther were freakin out!!! It seriously looked like some one got shanked or something!!! But comes to find out the people that lived in my apartment before me were crazy and threw a halloween party and put the fake blood everywhere... I was so releived!!! My place is so stinkin cute I love it!!! I put the christmas tree up lastnight and it turned out adorable it has my name written all over it (its so RETRO)!!!! I will have ot post a pic of it.. Also I found out some interesting news... Trev gets out this week and o my geeez I seriously think I might need to go to the NUT house..... I'm so not frickin ready for this... He has been callin me the past couple nights and I just have not answered!!! I haven't talked to him for almost 2 months and all of sudden he decides he wants to talk to me!!!!! He can wait to talk to me when he gets out.... I'm so bugged and paranoid and sad I guess I'm feelin every emotion possible and it SUCKS.. I just hope that I can hold my head up and keep going like I have.. But sometimes it gets so hard, trying to be as strong as possible and this is the time were it could totally break me down... just cross your fingers......Anyways Landon also started walking this weekend it so crazy!!! He looks like a monkey he puts his arms in the air and off he goes!! I love him so much anf I'm so thankful I have him in my life and we have our littlle home now!!! Hope everyone is Ready for christmas!!! I'm sure not LOL ;)!!!

December Already!!!

Wow has the year flown by.... Its December already... When I look back a year ago man have things changed... I'm like a total different person... Last year I was still prego with Landon and Trev had just barely went back to the Jail place.. The year is almost over and thank goodness for that... This year has been prob one of the roughest I've had... Dealing with breaking up with Trev and trying to make things work out with Trevor... Trying to finish school and make good money.. Man o man I'm ready for a new year... The past month or so has been prob the best this year so far.. I'm moving out in 2 weeks exactly.. Theres a minor thing that might make it hard... Trevor gets out of jail like 2 days after or even sooner then I move out... I'm not gonna lie I'm so not ready for it. Who knows what the heck is going to happen.. We will have to see what happens and I have to try to keep myself busy because honestly I'm not ready to see him with someone else... Thats going to be the hardest thing for me to know that he isn't going to be there for me to wake up to in the morning, or he won't be there for family time, or dinner time, you know where I'm getting at.. I really would like for him to be there on Christmas when Landon wakes up to his presents he gets from Santa.. But we will have to see what happens.. Lil nervous.. But anyways the year has flown and I'm ready for a new year to start and hopefully it will be alot better then the one I have had this year... Now it just needs to snow!!! So we can make snowmans and sit by the fire with hot coco(how romantic) haha I wish ... But I hope all you have a had a good year and the next one be better for you all!!! xoxoxox

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!

For my Son....

He is the best thing that has ever happened to me..I don't know where I would be with out him. I love you Bubba so much..

Also my parents and Family.. Mom you are so amazing and thank you so much for helpin me with everything you have, you have done to much... Landon sure loves you!!!

Papa were do I start you are the best dad a girl could ever ask for.. I may not be you blood daughter but you sure have made me feel like your own and I love you with all my heart..

I'm thankful to have had Trev in my life.. He has taught me so much about myself and LIFE, he also gave me the greatest gift I could have ever ask for... He is the strongest person I know... I will always Love you Trev no matter how things turn out.. You truly have my heart and always will have a huge chunk of it...Thank you so much for everything and I miss you like crazy...

I'm thankful for Trev's parents.. They are the most amazing people I have ever met.. I love you guys so much and appreciate all you have done for me and Landon... You always make me feel welcome.. Karen you are like a best friend to me I can talk you about anything... Your the best I love you so much,your my mom 2 for ever no matter what.. Stu you are the coolest grandpa and dad around.. Thank you so much for all you have done.. You have the biggest heart and I love you... To the rest of Trev's family thank you so much for everything I love you guys so much and I'm sure going to miss you guys...Thank you so much for making me feel like I'm apart of the fam... I'll cherish you guys in my heart forever....

To all my wonderful Friends... I love you guys so much.. You all are my back bone and whats keep me going... Even when you think I'm crazy I'm happy I have you guys to run too. You guys are amazing and all of you are in my heart forever you all know who you are...

I'm pretty thankful for where I am today... I'm happy for how strong I have been through the past little while when everything seemed to be crashing down on me... But every end is a new beginning and the future has so much to hold..

Hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving!!!!

We got a KITTY!!!!!!

For a little while now I have been thinkin of gettin a kitty for Landon after we move out.. I thought it would be so cute for Landon to have a lil buddy. I hung out with my cousin lastnight for a lil bit and I was telling her how I was thinkin bout gettin a kitty.. She told me one of her friends cats just had kittens and we could go look at them.. They were so stinkin cute and tiny.. I found the perfect kitty for him.. She is the runt of the litter and has lots of different colors in her.. I can't wait!!! I get to pick her up right before christmas!!! I hope he loves her!! I'm takin him over there tonight to see if he is allergic to them.. I don't want to have to end up giving her away if he is, later on so I thought we would get it over with now... As you know its a girl!! I have no clue what to name her!!! I'm totally stuck... Well kinda I was thinkin Milli but I'm not quite sure... Any suggestions?????